How To Manage Conflict Essay

Managing participation is never easy, whether youre trying to resolve a employment of your get or trying to helper two batch settle a dis localizee. The most important issue to know is that the longer you let the situation continue, the worse itll be when its metre to resolve it. So take a deep breath, maintain your cool, and get ready to breakthrough a solution that terminate withstand some(prenominal)one (reasonably) happy. 1. prepargon a plan for have-to doe withing. If two people atomic number 18 genuinely in difference of opinion and you want to help them or they need your help then you should plan a condemnation to meet that would make everybody happy. Of course, you may full walk into a conflict and have to solve it on the urgency of the moment, but hopefully you have any(prenominal) time to plan in advance. If so, pick a time and place that works for two people, and make sure that they argon two invested in solving the conflict. If at that places real disturb, then the sooner you can get together, the better. Ad2.Let all(prenominal) individual state his or her side of the story. If you are in charge of managing a conflict, whether its because youre a manager or because youre helping two people figure out their issues, you have to be an active listener. Let each individual express his or her position and listen with compassion and care until each soul has stated his or her receiveings and desires. founding fathert let the people interrupt each otherwise and make it clear that each person give take turns fully explaining him or her self.1 Make sure that some(prenominal) people are very listening to each other instead of sightly waiting until their turn to have their say. If necessary, have one person repeat some of the main points the other person made, so its clear that they both(prenominal) have an understanding of how each person is ruleing. 3.3Make it clear that you are there to help resolve, not solve. The peopl e who are in conflict must figure out how to move past their tasks on their own, not look to you for a supernatural solution that result make all of their problems go away. You should make this clear from the start so both parties know that they have to work hard and listen actively before they can moveforward. You are there to mediate so the conflict doesnt get out of control and so that both parties can look at the situation with much than objectivity and control, but that doesnt mean you ordain provide them with an answer.4Maintain your objectivity. Even if you think that Lucy is obviously in the right and Mary is light speed% wrong, it is not your position to say so. If you jump in on Lucys side, then Mary will feel same youre both ganging up against her and the conflict will be even notwithstanding from a resolution. Instead, keep your own personal opinions and ideas out of it and treat each persons thought with compassion and respect. Even if one person is to a great er extent right than the other, they both still have to bowl over a solution that can reasonably please both of them. If youre mediating a conflict, then you should counterbalance equal attention to both people. Let each person spend round the same keep down of time speaking and make points that support both people instead of just focusing on one person or the other. Maintain a neutral expression, and try not to look put off or skeptical if one person is stating something you dont take hold with at all. 5.5Be a calming force. One of your primary tasks is to help both people keep their cool. decimate their stress levels, their anger, and their emotions to the best of your ability. If someone is getting too heated, raising his or her voice, and getting visibly fierce or upset, take a five-minute break or ask that person to take a a couple of(prenominal) deep breaths and wait until he or she can speak calmly. You can only find a solution if both people stay calm and can take i n clearly.2 If the conversation is not qualifying down a constructive path, and both people have resorted to name calling and cursing and just criticizing each other spur and forth without getting anywhere, then you should intervene and get the conversation back on track. You can say something equal, Lets focus on whats important here, or Were just not getting anywhere with this kind of talk.6Figure out the starting time of the tension. in one case both people have stated theircases, you can help them figure out what is in reality at stake. They may think that they are really angry at each other because of fiscal tension, but they may really be upset because of a lack of communication. Be as specific. check each person discuss all of the things that are troubling him or her and contain if you can really find the root of the problem. Be patient. It may take a bit of digging and some suffer to get there. If you can put it in simple terms, something worry, curtsey feels tha t Mary is micromanaging his rove or Sara feels like Jim doesnt spend enough quality time with her, then you can begin to tackle the problem better than if you just knew that the two people were angry with each other.7Work together to find a solution. Once you have all agreed on the source of the tension and the problem that is at hand, you can begin to find a solution. Remember that both people do have to agree nearly the nature of the real problem to be able to find an effective solution. It may not be readily apparent, and you may need some perseverance and creativity to get there, but eventually, you should be able to find a way to make both people (reasonably) happy. Here are some potential solutions you may find and ways to state them gracefully It seems like both of you are having trouble living together. Sara may be a bit too focused on being neat, plot of land Mary may be a bit careless when it comes to doing chores.To solve the problem, you should set out a list of guide lines for how you can both keep the rear clean without running into trouble. If you both agree to do the things on the list, then you can stay happy in your living space. It seems that Bob has been managing Clark a elfin too closely. To avoid this in the future, Bob and Clark can discuss the objectives of a project in swell detail and can decide on times when they can both check in about the status of the project this will make Bob feel at ease about where the project is going, while giving Clark a little bit of breathing room.8Make a plan. Once youve found a resolution for the problem, you can set out specific guidelines for making it happen. Remember that both people have to be invested in finding this solution. You can set a timeline for achievingthese goals and have both people put it in writing so they feel that it will actually happen. Here are some ways it can happen Mary and Sara should sit down and discuss which things in the house have to stay clean at all times, and wh ich parts should be cleaned occasionally for an extra adept touch. Once you agree on the daily chores that really need to be done, you can make a chart of rotating tasks. Bob and Clark should meet for an hour before every new project, taking at to the lowest degree two detailed pages of notes so that Clark has enough direction to go off on his own. They should meet every three days for half an hour to discuss the progress of the project.9If both parties agree to disagree, help them part amicably. Maybe neither person, or one of the people, is unwilling to budge, and after much discussion, you havent moved past square one. If thats the case, then you should still make it so that one person understands where the other is coming from and that they can leave the situation without extra hostility or tension. Maybe Bob cant help but breathe down Clarks neck or Sara will continuously be messy no matter what if thats the case, then they have to find a way to coexist or make a smart plan for parting ways. Consider the concomitant that maybe both people just arent ready to resolve the conflict and need more time to cool off. If you feel like the argument is getting nowhere because both people are too heated and emotional, not because they refuse to budge from their positions, then consider asking both people reschedule your meeting for a time when both parties can think more clearly.10 rarity the conversation on a positive note. Whether both parties have reached a healthy conclusion or have agreed to disagree, you should end the situation on an optimistic note so neither person feels defeated. If both parties are feeling friendly, go out for a coffee or a beer if both parties are still very angry, try to diffuse the situation with a bit of humor and see if theyll at least shake hands and stay cordial. If emotions are too heated, then its time for everyone to back off for a bit, but if the vibe is positive, make the people feel good about having the conversation. Rem ind both parties that, however unpleasant it may be to discuss a conflict, thatthey have been get on with and done the right thing by deciding to resolve the situation instead of staying angry or avoiding the tension. Method 2 of 2 Managing Your Own Conflicts1.Face the conflict head-on. If youre dealing with a conflict of your own, then the worst thing you can do is run and hide, waiting for the conflict to get big and bigger until its almost impossible to resolve it. Sure, conflict is no fun, whether youre butting heads with a colleague or your long-term boyfriend, but remind yourself that if you brush your problems under the rug, then they are guaranteed to get worse. So take a deep breath and accept that you have to deal with it.3 That being said, pick your battles. If you feel like your boyfriend has been neglecting you, then speak up but if you feel like you dont like the way he loads the dishwater, maybe its better to hold off.2Dont tell everyone about it. Its okay to seek advice from a close friend or another confrere if you genuinely dont know what to do. But if you feel the urge to repine to every person in sight about the conflict just so you can dress down or get some anger off your chest, then youre only getting yourself worked up and possibly putting your relationship in jeopardy if the other person finds out about what youve been saying. If you do need advice, then talk to just one or two people whom you really combining so you can have some meaningful direction.4 Think about it how would you feel if you heard your co-worker was telling everyone in the office about your problems without talking to you about it? That kind of behavior is guaranteed to make you feel worse.3Use I statements. I statements are crucial for solving a conflict as objectively as possible. I statements make your feelings and motives clear and can help the other person see your side of the story without feeling accused or persecuted You statements make the other party feel like he orshe is on the chopping block and will make him or her feel much more defensive. Here are some ways to make useful I statements I feel like we havent been spending enough time together is more effective than You are always neglecting me. I feel like Ive been picking up the majority of the work on the project, is more effective than You have been making me do all of the work on this project.4Be specific. This doesnt mean you have to list the 90 things that the person has done to hurt you or to cause the conflict. In fact, this kind of behavior will only make the person feel worse, like hes being picked apart. Instead, stick to two or three concrete scenarios that can illustrate what you mean to make the person see the situation from your perspective. Here are some examples I was really hurt when you left field my birthday party early to hang out with your friends instead of spending more time with me. I spent ten hours on the Roberts report while you only worked on the cover page.