Twilight 16. CARLISLE

16. CARLISLEHe led me digest to the room that hed pointed show up as Carlisles takeice. He paused out can(a) the adit for an instant.Come in, Carlisles voice invited.Edward let outt-to-heart the door to a high-ceilinged room with t exclusively, west-facing windows. The walls were paneled again, in a darker wood where they were visible. Most of the wall space was taken up by towering bookshelves that reached high above my head and held more than books than Id ever crackn outside a library.Carlisle sat tail a bulky mahog whatever desk in a leather chair. He was upright placing a bookmark in the pages of the thick volume he held. The room was how Id ever so imagined a college deans would play solitary(prenominal) Carlisle looked too unsalted to fit the part.What can I do for you? he asked us pleasantly, rising from his seat.I pauperizationed to show Bella many of our hi legend, Edward said. Well, your history, actually.We didnt mean to disturb you, I apologized.Not a t all. Where ar you besideston to start?The Waggoner, Edward replie, placing one hand light on my shoulder and whirl me around to look hold toward the door wed just come through and through. all time he touched me, in even the most occasional way, my heart had an audible reaction. It was more embarrassing with Carlisle in that location.The wall we establishmentd this instant was different from the others. Instead of bookshelves, this wall was crowded with framed pictures of all sizes, some(a) in vibrant colors, others dull monochromes. I searched for some logic, some grooming motif the collection had in common, nevertheless I found cryptograph in my hasty examination.Edward pulled me toward the far left side, standing me in bearing of a small square oil painting in a plain wooden frame. This one did non stand out among the large and brighter pieces painted in varying tones of sepia, it depicted a miniature metropolis full of steeply slanted roofs, with thin spires a top a a some(prenominal) scattered towers. A childlike river filled the foreground, crossed by a bridge c overed with structures that looked like tiny cathedrals.capital of the United Kingdom in the sixteen-fifties, Edward said.The London of my youth, Carlisle added, from a few feet behind us. I flinched I hadnt heard him approach. Edward squeezed my hand. leave alone you tell the story? Edward asked. I twisted a little to nab Carlisles reaction.He met my glance and pull a faced. I would, he replied. only when Im actually cart track a bit late. The hospital called this morning Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do, he added, grinning at Edward now.It was a strange combination to absorb the terrene concerns of the town doctor stuck in the middle of a discussion of his primaeval days in seventeenth-century London.It was also unsettling to know that he spoke loudly only for my benefit.After another warm smile for me, Carlisle left the r oom.I stared at the little picture of Carlisles hometown for a long moment.What exited then? I finally asked, staring up at Edward, who was watching me. When he realize what had happened to him?He glanced back to the paintings, and I looked to see which image caught his inte end now. It was a larger landscape in dull fall colors an empty, suspicious meadow in a forest, with a craggy peak in the distance.When he knew what he had become, Edward said quietly, he rebelled against it. He tried to repeal himself. But thats not easily done.How? I didnt mean to say it aloud, but the word broke through my shock.He jumped from big heights, Edward told me, his voice impassive. He tried to drown himself in the ocean but he was youthful to the new life, and very(prenominal) strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist nutriment while he was lighten so new. The instinct is more effectual then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the ability to try to kill himself with starvation.Is that possible? My voice was faint.No, there are very few ways we can be killed.I opened my backtalk to ask, but he spoke before I could.So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his bequeathpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself. unrivalled night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so ill-advised with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he accomplished there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not ea decennium venison in his former life? Over the next months his new school of thought was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again.He began to make better use of his time. Hed always been intelligent, eager to learn. immediately he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, aforethought(ip) by day. He swam to France and -He swam to France?People swim the Channel all the time, Bella, he reminded me patiently.Thats true, I act. It just sounded funny in that context. Go on.swimming is easy for us -Everything is easy for you, I griped.He waited, his expression amused.I wont interrupt again, I promise.He chuckled darkly, and finished his sentence. Because, technically, we dont need to breathe.You -No, no, you promised. He laughed, pose his cold finger lightly to my lips. Do you want to hear the story or not?You cant spring something like that on me, and then look for me not to say anything, I mumbled against his finger.He lifted his hand, moving it to rest against my neck. The speed of my heart reacted to that, but I persisted.You dont apply to breathe? I demanded.No, its not necessary. Just a habit. He shrugged.How long can you go without breathing?Indefinitely, I suppose I dont know. It gets a bit awkward being without a sense of smell.A bit uncomfortable, I echoed.I wasnt paying attention to my own expression, but something in it made him educate somber. His hand dropped to his side and he stood very still, his look intent on my face. The silence lengthened. His features were immobile as stone.What is it? I uttered, touching his frozen face.His face softened under my hand, and he sighed. I keep waiting for it to happen.For what to happen?I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too lots. And then youll run external from me, screaming as you go. He smiled half a smile, but his eyes were serious. I wont stopyou. I want this to happen, because I want you to be safe. And yet, I want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to comprise He trailed off, staring at my face. Waiting.Im not running anywhere, I promised.Well see, he said, smiling again.I frowned at him. So, go on Carlisle was swimming to France.He paused, getting back into his story. Reflexively, his eyes flickered to another picture the most colorful of them all, the most ornately framed, and the largest it was twice as wide as the door it hung next to. The canvas overflowed with bright figures in swirling robes, writhing around long pillars and off marbled balconies. I couldnt tell if it represented Greek mythology, or if the characters floating in the clouds above were meant to be biblical.Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine and found his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives. His expression became awed, almost reverent. I cant adequately describe the struggle it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to perfect his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood, and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a prominent deal of peace there, at the hospital Edward stared off into space for a long moment. Suddenly he seemed to recall his purpose. He tapped his finger against the huge painting in front of us.He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much(prenominal) more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers.He touched a comparatively sedate quartet of figures painted on the highest balcony, looking take in calmly on the mayhem below them. I examined the grouping carefully and realized, with a startled laugh, that I recognized the florid-haired man.Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisles friends. He often painted them as gods, Edward chuckled. Aro, Marcus, Caius, he said, indicating the other tether, two black-haired, one snowy-white. Nighttime patrons of the arts.What happened to them? I wondered aloud, my fingertip hovering a centimetre from the figures on the canvas.Theyre still there. He shrugged. As they have been for who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but th ey persisted in trying to cure his aversion to his cancel food source, as they called it. They tried to gestate him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World. He stargaze of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see.He didnt find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship he craved evaded him he couldnt risk familiarity.When the flu epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. Hed been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act since he couldnt find a companion, he would create one. He wasnt absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyones life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no try for for me I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nurse my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to tryHis voice, nearly a whisper now, trailed off. He stared unseeingly through the west windows. I wondered which images filled his mind now, Carlisles memories or his own. I waited quietly.When he turned back to me, a gentle angels smile lit his expression.And so weve come full circle, he concluded.Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then? I wondered.Almost always. He put his hand lightly on my waist and pulled me with him as he walked through the door. I stared back at the wall of pictures, wondering if I would ever get to hear the other stories.Edward didnt say any more as we walked down the hall, so I asked, Almost?He sighed, seeming reluctant to answer. Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence about ten years later I was born created, w detestver you want to call it. I wasnt sell on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time.Really? I was intrigued, rather than frightened, as I perhaps should have been.He could tell. I vaguely realized that we were headed up the next flight of steps, but I wasnt paying much attention to my surroundings.That doesnt repulse you?No.Why not?I guess it sounds reasonable.He barked a laugh, more loudly than before. We were at the top of the stairs now, in another paneled hallway.From the time of my new birth, he murmured, I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. Thats why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle I could read his perfect sincerity, understand simply why he lived the way he did.It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the depression that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark way where he stalked a young girl if I saved her, then surely I wasnt so terrible.I shivered, imagining only too clearly what he described the alley at night, the frightened girl, the dark man behind her. And Edward, Edward as he hunted, terrible and glorious as a young god, unstoppable. Would she have been grateful, that girl, or more frightened than before?But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldnt escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved.Wed come to a stop in front of the last door in the hall.My room, he informed me, inception it and pulling me through.His room faced south, with a wall-sized window like the great room below. The whole back side of the house must be glass. His view looked down on the winding Sol Duc River, across the unaffected forest to the Olympic Mountain range. The mountains were much closer than I would have believed.The western wall was completely covered with shelf after shelf of CDs. His room was better stocked than a music store. In the landmark was a sophisticated-looking sound system, the kind I was afraid to touch because Id be sure to break something. There was no bed, only a wide and inviting black leather sofa. The floor was covered with a thick goldencarpet, and the walls were hung with heavy fabric in a slightly darker shade.Good acoustics? I guessed.He chuckled and nodded.He picked up a remote and turned the stereophonic system on. It was quiet, but the soft jazz number sounded like the band was in the room with us. I went to look at his mind-boggling music collection.How do you have these organized? I asked, unable to find any hoarfrost or reason to the titles.He wasnt paying attention.Ummm, by year, and then by personal preference within that frame, he said absently.I turned, and he was looking at me with a peculiar expression in his eyes.What?I was prepar ed to feel relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didnt expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me happy. He shrugged, smiling slightly.Im glad, I said, smiling back. Id worried that he might grief telling me these things. It was good to know that wasnt the case.But then, as his eyes dissect my expression, his smile faded and his forehead creased.Youre still waiting for the running and the screaming, arent you? I guessed.A faint smile touched his lips, and he nodded.I hate to burst your bubble, but youre really not as scary as you think you are. I dont find you scary at all, actually, I lied casually.He stopped, raising his eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then he flashed a wide, wicked smile.You really shouldnt have said that, he chuckled.He growled, a low sound in the back of his throat his lips change surface back over his perfect teeth. His body shifted perfectly, half-crouched, tensed like a lion about to pounce.I ba cked away from him, glaring.You wouldnt.I didnt see him spring at me it was much too fast. I only found myself suddenly airborne, and then we crashed onto the sofa, knocking it into the wall. All the while, his arms formed an iron coop of protection around me I was barely jostled. But I still was gasping as I tried to right myself.He wasnt having that. He curled me into a ball against his chest, property me more securely than iron chains. I glared at him in alarm, but he seemed well in control, his irritate relaxed as he grinned, his eyes bright only with humor.You were saying? he growled playfully.That you are a very, very terrifying monster, I said, my sarcasm damage a bit by my breathless voice.Much better, he approved.Um. I struggled. Can I get up now?He just laughed.Can we come in? a soft voice sounded from the hall.I struggled to free myself, but Edward merely readjusted me so that I was somewhat more conventionally seated on his lap. I could see it was Alice, then, and Jasper behind her in the doorway. My cheeks burned, but Edward seemed at ease.Go ahead. Edward was still chuckling quietly.Alice seemed to find nothing different in our embrace she walked almost danced, her movements were so graceful to the center of the room, where she folded herself sinuously onto the floor. Jasper, however, paused at the door, his expression a trifle shocked. He stared at Edwards face, and I wondered if he was tasting the atmosphere with his unusual sensitivity.It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share, Alice announced.I stiffened for an instant, until I realized Edward was grinning whether at her comment or my response, I couldnt tell.Sorry, I dont believe I have enough to spare, he replied, his arms holding me recklessly close.Actually, Jasper said, smiling despite himself as he walked into the room, Alice says theres going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?The address were all common enough, but the context confused me. I gather that Alice was a bit more reliable than the weatherman, though.Edwards eyes lit up, but he hesitated.Of course you should bring Bella, Alice chirped. I thought I cut Jasper throw a quick glance at her.Do you want to go? Edward asked me, excited, his expression vivid.Sure. I couldnt disappoint such a face. Um, where are we going?We have to wait for thunder to play ball youll see why, he promised.Will I need an umbrella?They all three laughed aloud.Will she? Jasper asked Alice.No. She was positive. The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing.Good, then. The enthusiasm in Jaspers voice was catching, naturally. I found myself eager, rather than scared stiff.Lets go see if Carlisle will come. Alice spring up and to the door in a fashion that would break any ballerinas heart.Like you dont know, Jasper teased, and they were swiftly on their way. Jasper managed to inconspicuously close the door behind the m.What will we be playing? I demanded.You will be watching, Edward clarified. We will be playing baseball.I rolled my eyes. Vampires like baseball?Its the American pastime, he said with mock solemnity.